Wednesday, November 14, 2007
More thoughts on motherhood...
your various comments on the Michelle Obama entry prompted this entry. i keep wondering why we women feel so unprepared for all the changes, emotionally, physically, psychologically, having children brings into our lives. do we blame our mothers for this? but i think my mother had us at a very different time and place than where i'm raising Skye and Claire. my mother worked and my grandmother took care of my brother and me. she could do that because my grandmother lived with us. did she have a choice? i'm not sure. i think she had to work - she was the breadwinner at that time. things changed once we moved to Kenya - she was much more involved in our lives. as for me, i have a choice. to stay home and raise my kids or work. i wouldn't be working out of necessity. and yet our struggle remains. some women i have met are perfectly content with raising the children and not working (by working, i guess i mean a real paying job). i'm happy with this too. but there are those of us, who have certain desires and passions to do certain things, whether it be work, something creative, whatever it might be, and we have to constantly battle this tension. it's exhausting some times! and yes, while kids grow up and leave the house but the work is always there, i sometimes think the time/opportunity can pass for certain things. i often think about my writing and wonder if i'll ever write something that is relevant at the time or will i have missed the right time for it?
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2 comments:
There is indeed a trade off of opportunities. You are fortunate to not need to work out of necessity. A question I have for me is, what is that necessity? I am not a single parent, and my husband has an income. So it's not an absolute necessity in that sense. We are living mostly within our means, some months we go over like the last one when the washer broke! But what is possible with two incomes is not possible with one. Our lifestyle has changed, many things got shaved down or completely eliminated. While I am happy for this in a lot of ways, there are opportunities I know I cannot give my family because it is not within our financial means. On the other hand, this opens the door for greater creativity, resourcefulness, dependence on others and on God, freedom from material things...again, a trading of opportunities. Perhaps the schooling question, however, is the most difficult.
schooling...that's a tough one if you aren't happy with the public school in your area. i have noticed in Madison, that many families send their children in another district - might that be a possibility for Amoz?
Christe, i hope you'll be encouraged in your decision to stay home with Amoz in this: Phil, who grew up going to day care, is really happy i'm home with the girls. you probably won't see the fruits of your labour now, but in the future when Amoz is a grown man. you'll have a closer relationship with him. well, that's my hope for my girls anyway. i guess only time will tell! :)
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