last night, phil had a dinner meeting with his colleagues, so i was home with the girls, putting them down to bed by myself for the first time. let's just say it wasn't pretty. kids always pick such times to give you hell! but, in the end, both girls were in bed sleeping soundly and i could turn to other matters, namely the dvd i checked out.
i settled myself on the couch, ready to enjoy the latest Bond movie. growing up in Kenya, i was raised on 007 movies. that's about all we could see at the theatre. and it was a family affair - my parents would take my brother, Q, and me and then we'd usually get dinner afterwards. those were the days of Roger Moore. i thought he was the best, until i discovered Sean Connery. and now Daniel Craig. wow.
i was transported from my world of smelly nappies, spit-ups, meltdowns, bossy 3 year old, to the glamorous world of "Casino Royale" where women with names like Vesper wear beautiful dresses and fall for bad boys. it was exhilarating and fun, the way a good Bond movie should be, but after it was over, all i could say was, wow, that is just too far from my world. my life is so not about high stakes. i don't make split second decisions risking my life. no, my life is all about should i let Claire fall asleep now and will she stay asleep while i take Skye to school or can i keep Claire awake until after the drop off? these little decisions should be so easy to make, but somehow, at the end of the day, my brain is too fried to even leap into the world of Bond. nothing against "Casino Royale" - in fact, loved it and loved Daniel Craig, but perhaps in a year, i will again appreciate fully the escape rather than finding the process too daunting.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Natural reflex position
ever wonder why babies hang out so much in this position? i recently found out from a physical therapist friend that it's a natural reflex position. it always makes me think of a javelin thrower or an old Egyptian painting where you can only see the profile of the face and full frontal of the body.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Visit to the zoo
yesterday was one of those disastrous days when i wondered what possessed me to have children. why does no one prepare you for those moments when all the balls you're juggling come crashing down on top your head?
we went to the zoo yesterday with some friends thinking the weather was finally warm enough. well, you know i got that wrong! i was planning to carry Claire in a baby carrier and push Skye in a stroller, along with our picnic lunch. yes, i'm sure you can see where this is headed. Claire is screaming and struggling to breath all at the same time. i'm bouncing to try and calm her while pushing the stroller. but the cold and Claire's crying drive us into the only indoor section of the zoo--the tropical house. all the coats and outerwear get piled onto the stroller, but thankfully, Claire is finally calm and Skye is out of the stroller. then the unthinkable happens. the macaws make their loud calls and Skye flips out! she absolutely refuses to stay another minute in the tropical house. my friends' children are doing just fine. back outside in the cold, i'm thinking i've had enough and we should go home, but Skye will not leave the zoo without a picnic. so there is Skye, sitting at the picnic table eating her peanut butter jelly sandwich and drinking orange juice in her coat and mittens. and i'm pacing next to her, hoping Claire will fall asleep, wondering what madness drove me to come to the zoo without a double stroller, what kind of a mother doesn't know that macaws can frighten the daylights out of your child, and why must my child insist on a picnic in this frigid weather?
in the end, Claire finally fell asleep and we were able to rejoin our friends once they came out of the tropical house and saw the polar bear, the lions, the buffaloes and the prairie dogs. and yes, we all had a picnic near the buffaloes smelling the manure and shivering under our coats.
writing about it today, it all seems really silly and funny. how ridiculous that i felt the world was falling around me! but somehow, it wasn't the same at the moment.
but today, today was a good day. perhaps because we didn't attempt such a thing as a visit to the zoo. what i did have today was a parent teacher conference with Skye's teachers. that had its complications--it was right around when Claire decided she was tired and so she was gnawing on my shoulders the whole time and eventually broke into crying. but it was wonderful to get Skye's progress report and to be reminded what a great kid she is.
today, i know why we had children. today, i can look at both Claire and Skye and not feel like pulling my hair out. today, i can laugh about yesterday and think about returning to the zoo.
we went to the zoo yesterday with some friends thinking the weather was finally warm enough. well, you know i got that wrong! i was planning to carry Claire in a baby carrier and push Skye in a stroller, along with our picnic lunch. yes, i'm sure you can see where this is headed. Claire is screaming and struggling to breath all at the same time. i'm bouncing to try and calm her while pushing the stroller. but the cold and Claire's crying drive us into the only indoor section of the zoo--the tropical house. all the coats and outerwear get piled onto the stroller, but thankfully, Claire is finally calm and Skye is out of the stroller. then the unthinkable happens. the macaws make their loud calls and Skye flips out! she absolutely refuses to stay another minute in the tropical house. my friends' children are doing just fine. back outside in the cold, i'm thinking i've had enough and we should go home, but Skye will not leave the zoo without a picnic. so there is Skye, sitting at the picnic table eating her peanut butter jelly sandwich and drinking orange juice in her coat and mittens. and i'm pacing next to her, hoping Claire will fall asleep, wondering what madness drove me to come to the zoo without a double stroller, what kind of a mother doesn't know that macaws can frighten the daylights out of your child, and why must my child insist on a picnic in this frigid weather?
in the end, Claire finally fell asleep and we were able to rejoin our friends once they came out of the tropical house and saw the polar bear, the lions, the buffaloes and the prairie dogs. and yes, we all had a picnic near the buffaloes smelling the manure and shivering under our coats.
writing about it today, it all seems really silly and funny. how ridiculous that i felt the world was falling around me! but somehow, it wasn't the same at the moment.
but today, today was a good day. perhaps because we didn't attempt such a thing as a visit to the zoo. what i did have today was a parent teacher conference with Skye's teachers. that had its complications--it was right around when Claire decided she was tired and so she was gnawing on my shoulders the whole time and eventually broke into crying. but it was wonderful to get Skye's progress report and to be reminded what a great kid she is.
today, i know why we had children. today, i can look at both Claire and Skye and not feel like pulling my hair out. today, i can laugh about yesterday and think about returning to the zoo.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Sleep
over the weekend, we had an incredible milestone in Skye's life happen which we thought would not happen for a really long time. Skye decided to sleep all by herself in her own room, in her own bed. now, most of you who have trained your children to sleep in their cribs from day 1 are probably thinking, big deal. but for us, we have been cosleeping with Skye and hoping she will make that decision herself. frankly, i wasn't very optimistic. then, all of a sudden on saturday, she decided it was time. last night, she was quite sad and weepy as she was getting ready for bed, but still willing to sleep by herself. to me, this is MONUMENTAL! we made a special dinner last night to celebrate this new independence for Skye and hope to keep encouraging her as she gradually makes more choices towards independence.
and Claire? sweet Claire--well, she's a good sleeper at night, not so great during the day. but hey, i'm not complaining as long as i wake up in the mornings with my mind pretty intact!
and Claire? sweet Claire--well, she's a good sleeper at night, not so great during the day. but hey, i'm not complaining as long as i wake up in the mornings with my mind pretty intact!
Friday, March 16, 2007
Adjusting to Madison
some of you have asked how the kim family has been doing besides adjusting to the weather. i'll try to recap.
Phil loves his job. loves the people he works with and enjoys the class he has been teaching. the research is going a little slow, but i think that's to be expected since we just had a baby! he has taken up playing squash with a friend from church. he tries hard to keep up with the tar heel games, but believe it or not, they sometimes don't air here because we're now in the midwest!!
i've gotten to know people in our neighbourhood--our neighbours were glad to have another family with little ones move in. i've also gotten to know people through Skye's preschool and through church. what i appreciate about madison is that everyone has come from somewhere else and seem open to new people.
my writing has come to a standstill after Claire's birth, but i was expecting that. this blogging will be good for me in that regard.
other than that, i'd say we're doing pretty well. we love the fact that there are great restaurants here (i am in love with this small persian restaurant called Caspian Cafe) and we really have no complaints except the weather!
Phil loves his job. loves the people he works with and enjoys the class he has been teaching. the research is going a little slow, but i think that's to be expected since we just had a baby! he has taken up playing squash with a friend from church. he tries hard to keep up with the tar heel games, but believe it or not, they sometimes don't air here because we're now in the midwest!!
i've gotten to know people in our neighbourhood--our neighbours were glad to have another family with little ones move in. i've also gotten to know people through Skye's preschool and through church. what i appreciate about madison is that everyone has come from somewhere else and seem open to new people.
my writing has come to a standstill after Claire's birth, but i was expecting that. this blogging will be good for me in that regard.
other than that, i'd say we're doing pretty well. we love the fact that there are great restaurants here (i am in love with this small persian restaurant called Caspian Cafe) and we really have no complaints except the weather!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Thoughts on death, bacon, rolling balls and other important life matters
Skye and i just finished reading "Charlotte's Web." finally! we'd been at it for at least 3 months now. i was afraid it would be too long and difficult for her, but she actually did rather well. we often play Charlotte and Wilbur, she and i taking turns being one or the other. i had forgotten how much death plays a part in the story and wondered what Skye would make of it all. i'm sure the questions will rise soon since she now knows that the bacon she so dearly loves to eat comes from a pig much like Wilbur!
as for my own reading, i have just finished reading Rachel Cusk's "The Lucky Ones." i was sorry to have picked it up at this point in my life. so many of the women in the book are unhappy after giving birth to a baby--made me start to feel sorry for myself. i love Cusk's novels, but this one was a tough one to enjoy.
Skye and i were spending some time drawing today. Skye said she was going to draw a jellyfish which consequently turned into the sun and then into an octopus, the label changing with each transformation her pencil made. i love how flexible life can be for Skye! what started out as a jellyfish didn't have to remain trapped that way when surely it now looked more like an octopus or a sun.
Claire broke out into a gleeful laugh when she saw a green ball rolling towards her. ah, the simple joys of life!
as for my own reading, i have just finished reading Rachel Cusk's "The Lucky Ones." i was sorry to have picked it up at this point in my life. so many of the women in the book are unhappy after giving birth to a baby--made me start to feel sorry for myself. i love Cusk's novels, but this one was a tough one to enjoy.
Skye and i were spending some time drawing today. Skye said she was going to draw a jellyfish which consequently turned into the sun and then into an octopus, the label changing with each transformation her pencil made. i love how flexible life can be for Skye! what started out as a jellyfish didn't have to remain trapped that way when surely it now looked more like an octopus or a sun.
Claire broke out into a gleeful laugh when she saw a green ball rolling towards her. ah, the simple joys of life!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Surviving our first winter
just when i thought i must be going crazy from cabin fever, the weather warmed up this week and we went crazy with joy! mind you, the locals are warning me not to get too ecstatic--another cold front is most definitely coming through, but it was glorious for 3 days to run outside without bundling up.
when we first moved to madison, WI last august, i was a little nervous about facing the winter, having gotten spoiled in north carolina for the past five years, but part of me felt i'd be ok. afterall, i had lived in chicago and dealt with severe winters before. hah! it's one thing to bundle myself up and get myself through the cold to get wherever i need to go. it's quite another matter with a 3 year old and a 2 month old tagging along. Skye, my soon-to-be-4-year-old, always the optimist, believes she can absolutely survive outside in just a fleece jacket--no gloves, no hat, no snowpants, and definitely no snowboots. after many precious minutes battling Skye's negotiations, Skye is bundled up, Claire is bundled up, and i am bundled up. as we trudge our way down the steps, Skye falls flat on her back, sinking into several inches of snow. she gives a muffled scream for help, unable to execute one of those flip moves like a snowboarder when flat on the back. she might as well be in a body cast. and i'm trying to hurry Claire into the car because she has stopped breathing. all the while, i'm wondering, why??
so, my choices this winter were either the above scenario or cabin fever. cabin fever usually won out, although we did make the occasional brave attempts to go play somewhere indoors.
when the temperature rose into the 50's this week, the whole city seemed to be celebrating. people were out in shorts and flip flops (uh, isn't it still a little too nippy for that?), sitting out on the porches drinking beer and we were gagaing over the one lone crocus that decided to shoot up in our front yard. Skye pulled on her summer dress and rain boots and jumped in the massive puddles and mud. even Claire, for the first time, looked up at a chirping bird instead of burying her face into my jacket. i was just grateful it took us 5 minutes to get out of the house instead of 20.
Phil and i have often wondered why anyone in their right minds would choose to live in such a cold place. perhaps this exhilaration, this giddiness, to celebrate the coming of spring isn't such a bad thing.
when we first moved to madison, WI last august, i was a little nervous about facing the winter, having gotten spoiled in north carolina for the past five years, but part of me felt i'd be ok. afterall, i had lived in chicago and dealt with severe winters before. hah! it's one thing to bundle myself up and get myself through the cold to get wherever i need to go. it's quite another matter with a 3 year old and a 2 month old tagging along. Skye, my soon-to-be-4-year-old, always the optimist, believes she can absolutely survive outside in just a fleece jacket--no gloves, no hat, no snowpants, and definitely no snowboots. after many precious minutes battling Skye's negotiations, Skye is bundled up, Claire is bundled up, and i am bundled up. as we trudge our way down the steps, Skye falls flat on her back, sinking into several inches of snow. she gives a muffled scream for help, unable to execute one of those flip moves like a snowboarder when flat on the back. she might as well be in a body cast. and i'm trying to hurry Claire into the car because she has stopped breathing. all the while, i'm wondering, why??
so, my choices this winter were either the above scenario or cabin fever. cabin fever usually won out, although we did make the occasional brave attempts to go play somewhere indoors.
when the temperature rose into the 50's this week, the whole city seemed to be celebrating. people were out in shorts and flip flops (uh, isn't it still a little too nippy for that?), sitting out on the porches drinking beer and we were gagaing over the one lone crocus that decided to shoot up in our front yard. Skye pulled on her summer dress and rain boots and jumped in the massive puddles and mud. even Claire, for the first time, looked up at a chirping bird instead of burying her face into my jacket. i was just grateful it took us 5 minutes to get out of the house instead of 20.
Phil and i have often wondered why anyone in their right minds would choose to live in such a cold place. perhaps this exhilaration, this giddiness, to celebrate the coming of spring isn't such a bad thing.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Welcome!
hey, so glad you're visiting. i never thought i'd do this, but with two kids, i'm finding it harder and harder to keep in touch with people. and talking on the phone? yeah right!! so, i'm hoping this will encourage me to get my thoughts down and enable you, my friends, to stay in touch with what's going on in my life. i'll return for further update, but wanted get this up and running.
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