First pictures of Cordelia

here are some early pictures of Cordelia:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=51019&id=1028853323&l=bb3562e542

Cordelia's Birth Story

true to the way things have gone with this pregnancy, the birth of Cordelia was unpredictable in many ways. but at the end of the day, we had a beautiful, healthy girl and for that we are extremely grateful.

as in my previous post, we had been preparing a water birth at home. we had had complications with the tub when Claire was born at home, but this time, the tub was no trouble and worked great. i just couldn't last in the tub.

labour began last friday morning at 5am. i thought, uh-oh, is this another false start? but this time, the contractions were definitely stronger and felt much closer to the kinds that started my previous labours. after waiting for about 45 mins, we called the midwife and when she arrived, she said we would have the baby that day. soon, i got in the birthing tub and the girls woke up and hung around. it wasn't long before the contractions got really strong. i could even feel what i thought was the top of the baby's head and the amniotic sac pushing through. when i had felt that much of the head with Claire, the end was very close. boy, was i wrong with this one! the urge to push was really really strong, but i felt i wasn't making any progress. the midwife kept encouraging my that i WAS making progress, but i think physically, i was starting to get very tired. eventually, i got out of the tub. all i could think about was how i wanted to lay down somewhere and go to sleep, but the contractions were only getting stronger.

my labour in total was still only 4 and a half hrs long, but the intensity of it was so much greater than the other two (and the other 2 were pretty intense as well). and this labour started in the morning, when i wasn't feeling as strong. Cordelia's head came out at an angle; thus the long hours of pushing. but perhaps because this was my third birth, i managed to give birth to her even with her in an unfavourable position. in the midst of all the pain, i was aware of my amniotic sac bursting during one of my pushes. had i been more sane of mind, i would have found this rather funny, but i'm afraid i only registered it dimly. and i was SO grateful for my midwives - yes, i ended up having both the midwives who birthed Claire. Phil said how there was almost no need to communicate - we all had been there before and knew what to do. i trusted them completely, even during one dark moment when i thought, i'm going to end up at the hospital and they are going to have to cut me open to get this baby out! but thankfully, my midwives helped by applying pressure in the right places, pushing back on a persistent lip of cervix and eventually moving Cordelia's head as she pushed through.

so, no water birth this time and no en caul birth, but we have another beautiful daughter. it is a joy to watch Cordelia's daily changing face. and her sisters love her to pieces.

i will post some photos once i get a little better.

Week 38

i apologize for not posting anything for a whole week, but this past week was just plain strange and crazy. i felt too emotionally off-kilter to write anything! but things are better now.

last thursday night, i hardly got any sleep. i kept having these mild contractions that were too frequent to ignore. since i couldn't sleep, i decided to time them. they were about 10 mins apart. they were quite regular, but i was puzzled by their mildness. with both Skye and Claire, when labour started, there was no mistake about it. i knew right away because the contractions were so intense and so fast. but this, what was this? i had no idea. by 5am, friday morning, the mild contractions were about 5 mins apart. around 6am, we called the midwife. we got busy filling up the birthing tub. once the girls woke up, they were all excited too. but when the midwife arrived and she checked me, i was only 1.5 cm dilated. and by then, the contractions were getting even weaker. was i imagining things??? my midwife stayed with us for a couple of hours and then left since nothing was happening, but kept in touch with me over the phone throughout the day. Phil took the kids out in the morning and since i had no idea what to do and i had a batch of danish pastry sitting in the fridge, i baked a batch of cheese danish (which btw was delicious). then i took a thoroughly good nap and woke up to find the contractions were no longer regular.

they say that the third birth is unpredictable (all births are rather unpredictable, but the first is usually long, the second is rapid and the third is a bit of a mystery) and that is proving true for us. since last week's incident, i am discovering many women out there who have had such false starts to their third labour. my midwives reassure me that this is all ok. i am glad to be in the company of women who embrace the mystery of the body and believe strongly in the body knowing what it is doing.

who knows when this baby will arrive and in what fashion? but i'm learning to take it day by day, still trying to accomplish as much as i can before baby arrives.

Week 37

yesterday, i had my 37th week check up and was suddenly hit with the realization that i wasn't all ready for this birth! so, i've been in my frenzied-activity mode today, doing laundry, going through the list of things i need to finish... and poor Phil, he has a presentation at work tomorrow and he was debating cancelling it. mainly because during my appointment with the midwife, we concluded that when labour hits, it's going to be very fast since my cervix has thinned out almost completely. but, i'm trying to take things calmly and believe that the baby will stay put at least until the end of the month.

at least the birthing tub is ready in our den - but i am beginning to wonder if i'll have time to make it in there! :)

Signs of spring, signs of change

we've had LOVELY weather for the past few days - almost all of the snow has melted and plants are sprouting everywhere. here are some signs that make me smile - our magnolia tree budding, the tulips shooting up, and our cherry trees budding:





unfortunately, we are going to be hit with lots of snow this weekend, but the warm sunshine has given me hope that summer is not too far away. :)

and as i see the signs of change, i'm anticipating the change coming to our family. the girls feel it too and have been showing it in different ways. we've had lots of meltdowns and difficulty handling transitions, but i also see signs of growth in the girls. Skye is definitely taking pride in becoming more independent, even in the kitchen - she often cooks eggs and makes pancakes on the weekends for breakfast. i'm so proud of her! and Claire is becoming more and more of a social butterfly. she would much rather go and play with her neighbourhood friends than tag along with me to Skye's ballet class or violin lesson. as i prepare for the arrival of this new baby, i see how quickly my girls are growing up. how will the addition of a third child change the dynamics of our family? that is the great mystery, something i'm curious to discover in the coming months, years.

Skye flipping pancakes

Pulse Conference

this weekend, i will be showing two of my paintings at the Pulse Conference. since becoming a mother, i haven't had the space/time to paint much, but last year, i did some paintings/collages and these are 2 of them that i'll be showing over the weekend. if you are in town, do stop by. the paintings will be up all weekend during the conference and i think you could stop by whenever, but the opening is this friday, from 6-7 pm, just before the Fernando Ortega concert. i'll be there on friday, along with all the other artists showing their work.

"Taking Flight"


"Hands"

Sewing project

ever since i did some research with fashion design students for my novel, i've been wanting to learn to sew. not that i want to design and sew fabulous clothes to sell, but i've been wanting to sew simple things for the girls, the house, and me. i've never really sewed anything except hems (i usually have to adjust the lengths of pants i buy in stores), so i wanted to start with something really simple. i finally completed these simple skirts to give to my girls for Easter:



the instructions for them were passed on to me by my friend, Sarah, and you can find them on this blog. i just added some pockets because my girls LOVE pockets. (Mary, i made the pockets using the book you sent me for Christmas!) it was fun, fast and totally gratifying. i want to try the other skirts the blogger has posted - they look really cute and simple to do! now, if only i can make some cute clothes for ME! :)

35 Weeks and counting...

today was my home visit with the midwives. Azani, who also delivered Claire in our house over 3 years ago, came today and didn't require much introduction since she's done this before! she scoped out the den again where we will set up the birthing tub and we went over the supplies i need to keep on hand. the home visit always reminds me that the baby is almost here. i don't know about you, but i tend to think the due date is always far away, always trying to squeeze in as much as i can get done before baby leaves the belly. that's probably why my babies always come so early. they never want to stay in full term for me! so with this third baby, i've been thinking perhaps this one will be my unpredictable one and come late. well, last night, i woke up in the middle of the night, suddenly concerned that my baby's head wasn't in a down position. i always feel this way close to the due date, always concerned about breach position. so there i was, in bed, prodding away at the baby, trying to figure out where the head was. all i felt were lumps and squirms. i felt the butt, but it felt too hard to be a butt and i was worried it was actually the head sticking up under my ribs. so i was glad i had a checkup today. i asked Azani what position the baby was in and she's usually really fast with figuring it out, but today, she kept probing. she thought the head was down, but she'd have to do a internal exam to make sure the head was down. when she checked, she said the head was really low (station 2, i think is what she said) and i was 92% effaced. *sigh* so much for me thinking this baby will be late. but who knows? maybe the baby will just hang out really low for a whole month! Azani cautioned me against working too much, but how can i go on bed rest with 2 kids to take care of? my mum sort of had a panic attack and is now thinking of getting here 2 weeks before the due date, worried she wouldn't get here in time.

well, we are preparing for anything. i tell you, every single birth is so unpredictable. and as i said, the baby could still hang out really low in my pelvis for another month. right?

Time to buy a van?

so far, we've managed to be a family of one car and i have dearly loved our VW jetta tdi - i wouldn't trade it in for anything. and i've never imagined myself as one of those mums driving a big van. if there was ever a car i've dreamed of driving, it would have to be one of those jeep wranglers - you know the kind where the roof comes off and you look oh so rugged and cool. :) but, the coming of this third baby is finally making me face reality. there is no way we can fit three carseats in the backrow and of course carpooling is out of the question!

so, last week, we test drove vans. the VW people let us take one home for the day - wasn't that so nice of them? and after having it for a day, i'm afraid i've become a convert. it was SO nice not to be bending over to strap kids in (esp since my belly is the size of a giant globe now), SO nice to have doors open automatically, SO nice to have so much space inside!! i had no idea how cramped our little jetta felt until we drove the van. and the kids? they LOVE the van. they wanted to keep the van and couldn't understand why we had to return it. we also tested a Honda Odyssey over the weekend and i know it's the most popular van out there, but i love the way VW drives. and we are so hoping they'll come out with a tdi van. so, while we still don't own a van yet, it's definitely in the not too distant future (like, in the next couple of weeks?).

this is the VW Routan - it barely fits in our driveway!!