Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Embracing Chaos
does anyone know how to do this? if you do, please teach me! i seem to be completely useless at it. i don't know how to prioritize my children's needs - when all three come at me with something all at once, i drop all the balls instead of gracefully juggling them all. i know, tomorrow's a new day and things will look better, but right now, i'm not sure i'm handling motherhood well at all.
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7 comments:
I would look at each child's need and prioritize...does the baby need a new diaper? Can the oldest child help the younger child? Can they take turns? One thing at a time...it might not be totally easy to do at the time, but its better than trying to get everything done at once and not getting anything done :)
Shh...do you hear that? It's the sound of all mothers everywhere dropping hundreds of balls every day!! My motto after I had 2 kids (and you have 3!!) was "we are all doing the best we can." I no longer judge ANYONE for their parenting skills - and I try to apply the same fair mind to my own sometimes crappy parenting. My other big belief is that getting through the first year of a child's life is some of the hardest emotional stuff you'll ever do. Particularly since you have your beautiful older girls, who still need you as much as they did before their sweet baby sister was born. The only advice I can give is to go easy on yourself, figure out a way to make your girls understand that this is a new challenge - maybe empower them with the big sister thing? And when all else fails, just breathe. In and out. Sometimes I do breathing exercises with my kids when I'm about to lose it (sometimes I just go ahead and lose it!) - they think it's hilarious and breathing really does calm the mind. So everybody wins - the kids get a chuckle and you find your center again.
HUGS!!!
I remembered I struggled a whole lot when I went from 1 to 2 kids in the beginning. In fact, I thought it was significantly more challenging than going from 0 to 1 (though my husband would disagree). It took a while to get into a smooth grove with the two, and I expect the same to happen with 3. No stress!!! Like you said, embrace the chaos! And now you have 7 weeks to figure out the secret of Doing It All so you can tell me :)
I distinctly remember struggling with balance/good mom-ness when I went from 1 to 2 kids three years ago. In fact, I thought it was significantly more challenging than going from 0 to 1 (though my husband would disagree!). But eventually I did find a smooth groove with the two, and you will as well with three. And you have 7 weeks to figure it out so you can tell me :) It will all come together!! I'm sure you're doing a *fabulous* job!
ah, ladies, thank you for the encouraging words. can i just say, today hasn't been my best!
Amanda, i'll try to remember to breathe - that is a good one to practice. and you being the yoga instructor should know all about breathing!!
Oh, SoYoung, I think you are speaking the universal language of all mothers! I still remember the guilt I felt when Jana was born and Anna, who was less than 2 at that time didn't adjust well to having a younger sibling. It was one of the most overwhelming feeling I had in my life, and I messed up a lot, I mean a lot!! However, kids still know you love them, and they are resilient, and in time they come to understand. They'll learn to wait on you until you are able to tend to them (well, maybe not too much with the babies), but you get my point. Praying that peace will fill your heart so that you can extend that peace to your children in the midst of the chaos you may experience. Yes, as your friend, Amanda said, breathe and let that air fill you.
YangHwa
Tonight we had one fussy baby, one very sad almost finished with kindergarten girl, and one tired, hungry almost finished with 2nd grade and Midvale elementary girl. I felt so sorry for all of them, decided to put the fussy baby down for a bit and give the middle one the biggest hug and held her for awhile. I think this end of the school year is a huge transition for everyone, even if it is only really happening to one kid (or 2 in my case) in the family. Lucky for me, Nick was in the kitchen making dinner for us or I would have really been rattled. It is so hard to be there for everyone, I always try to stop multi-tasking when all of the balls go flying
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